Firstly, when you were little (or maybe even now) do people say this to you: Little Jack Horner, sat in the corner, eating a Christmas pie; He put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum and said 'What a good boy am I’. I hope not, because it makes absolutely no sense and that Jack Horner sounds like a dick.
You, on the other hand, sound like my kind of guy. I also have dedicated my life to building a dinosaur, and also concluded that there is no dinosaur DNA knocking about. Whilst I applaud your efforts in genetically modifying chickens I’m not sure this is the answer. Chickens are dicks and have clearly not evolved from dinosaurs in a good way. I mean, I understand what evolution means and I guess there is a reason that non avian dinosaurs died out, but the reason that chickens survived was probably not due to the fact that they are genetically superior, but because they are so shit that they went under the radar and didn’t even notice all their mates were dying out. They have no skills.
Other evolutionary balls ups include:
The sea pig
The blob fish
Penis face monkey (not official name)
So I think you should carry on looking for dinosaur DNA – I am hereby offering my services for free (as long as you buy me food, clothes, wine and pay for my first class travel) in exchange for 50% of the profits when we build and sell dinosaurs.
I don’t mind if you make a chickenosaurus in the mean time – we can do experiments on it, but the name is too boring, I suggest we call it a Cyclopops.
I look forward to your speedy response.
Kind Regards,
Dr Bearhead
Ps. I know that you were a technical advisor in the documentary series Jurassic Park and I thought you might like to know that Richard Attenborough is on my dinosaur team and I’m sure he would also be happy to join our Cyclopops task force.
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