Dear Brian Cox

Do you remember the reality tv show 'Jetsons meet the Flintstones'? Well, that is why I am writing: space and dinosaurs.

I would like to draw your attention, not to reality tv shows, but to more acclaimed documentaries, specifically star trek. So, if I am right - which I am - when you go into space or - to quote the documentary "to boldly go where no man has gone before" - it is pretty much the same as being on earth? Except in a spaceship. So it is like being on a plane, but not a rubbish one like easyjet, but one with nice air hostesses, like Singapore air. I honestly don't know why people go on about space so much, there's not really much in it and it doesn't seem like much fun. Also, if you can email from space then I don't know why you can't live there (I know an astronaut who emailed me from space).

Anyway, the real reason I need your help is because I have stumbled upon a problem with my scientific research regarding dinosaurs and, specifically, recreating them. I have recently discovered that - even though my body of work is correct - the technology does not exist to extract dinosaur DNA. Or should I say no longer exists, I assume the machines (syringe) they used in Jurassic Park were destroyed by the velociraptors when they got into the lab. Brian Cox, since you made the hadron collider I figured that you could build a dinosaur DNA extractor machine (TM).

I have just watched a doumentary where the 'scientists' said chickens are relatives of dinosaurs. This is rubbish! They look nothing like dinosaurs! But it is on channel 5 and I'm pretty sure nothing on the cutting edge of science has ever been on channel 5. I bet the hadron collider has never been on channel 5 - I bet they dont even know what it is! Ha! You, Brian Cox, have been on BB2, which is very highbrow, therefore I want you on my team.

So, in conclusion, I would like you to build the machine and then to demonstrate it to a team of scientists and the Attenboroughs. We will then have a short break where I will show scenes from the second part of the Jurassic park documentary series to demonstrate how Dinosaurs shouldn't live in a world built for humans. We will then give a lecture on 'PLANET DINOSAUR'. The planet which dinosaurs will live on - this will be practical and also make space more fun. You can pick which planet.

Kind Regards,

Dr Bearhead

ps. I think it would be best if we present this research as a married couple.

pps. Do people call it the hard-on collider sometimes? I think thats pretty funny. I look forward to hearing from you.